November 16 - 17, 2022 - Zurich - People
I’m back.
After 7.5 months travelling to remote places on this planet, I’m back in Zurich.
If you ask me today, when I truly felt out of my comfort zone this year?
It was yesterday.
Not during a multi-day hike through the mountains of Papua (sugar-low excluded),
not during the 10 days silence meditation (I had myself to talk to, remember),
not even during the car breakdown in the Atacama desert in Chile (I was with my friend Laura after all).
My body truly gave me all kind of signs that the volleyball game yesterday evening in Wiedikon, was probably the most stressful I had felt during this entire sabbatical.
Beyond one’s comfort and learning zone
I returned early from Asia to attend two volleyball games this week.
I’ve been playing volleyball on and off for the last 18 years and I define our team in Zurich as an “Ambitious Hobbyteam”.
Theory tells us, that humans best grow when they leave their comfort zone and enter the so called “Learning Zone”.
Yet, yesterday I found myself all of a sudden in Panic Zone.
How did this all happen?
First,
due to some temporary changes in the team, we had switched our game strategy.
If you’ve ever been to a volleyball game, when you see people running around after the first serve to change positions, that’s called the system a team operates in.
I managed to be present for the season’s opening game in September, but besides that my volleyball practice this year took mainly place at the beaches of this world.
Second,
our coach was sick this week, thus some of us players had to take over the task to coach the rest of the team during the game.
I offered myself, to guarantee we all get to play.
Yet, I underestimated the switch from player to coach completely.
It felt like changing from playing my favourite five songs on the piano silently in my living room, to standing in front of an orchestra.
Third,
and probably psychologically most importantly, my team had ask me to become their captain, a mere few weeks before leaving for my sabbatical.
I happily accepted and while I was away, my predecessor still took amazing care of the team.
That mental swift from being a mere player giving the best on the field, to taking over a touch more responsibility.
Some of the rituals of the game (greeting the opponents, some admin stuff with the referee) were things that I took notice of before, but again, the actual doing of things I’ve seen other people do hundreds of time, was just overwhelming.
The body-mind-connection
All these factors mounted to a total black-out of my body-mind-connection in the final set of the game.
In the first set, I could totally focus on my coach role, then in the second set I was on the field, switching into player mode.
There I fully focused on keeping the energy high and learning the new system while playing.
We lost a third game and in the heat of the transition, I passed the referee a mixed-up starting set-up for the fourth set.
And that’s were something snapped.
Once the chaos on the field erupted, my body simply froze.
My vision narrowed and my brain went on OFF.
I felt like driving with full hand break on. I knew something was amiss, but I couldn’t find the handle to act.
Now in retrospective it was a perfect example, how our body and mind are closely connected as beautifully explained in the book “Total Meditation”, by Deepak Chopra.
Blank mind. Numbed body. Total stress.
Growing as a team
Naturally, the atmosphere after the lost game was far from excited.
I felt like I failed on the coach and the captain level and had to voice my frustration (my sometimes annoying way of dealing with tensions).
Others had to get out to get some fresh air, shed a few tears or simply remain silent.
Yuanfen in literature is defined as “moments meant to happen”, mostly with a positive connotation.
In line with the concept of Resonance, where one has to be vulnerable in order to create a resonance with it’s surrounding, I truly believe that this moment of frustration and dissonance was truly meant to be.
We are after all a group of (mostly strong-headed) women from all walks of life, that week by week, voluntarily and with dedication, spent time on and off the volleyball field together.
We expose ourselves to stressful situations, fighting and growing emotionally against strong and less strong oponents.
We stretch our comfort zone, physically and psychologically in our training sessions.
We hike, ski, dance, drink and eat together.
And most importantly, we care for each other.
That’s why I believe that we as individuals and as a team had a Yuanfen moment of growth yesterday.
Because we were willing to be vulnerable with each other.
Way beyond my comfort zone for sure.
But so powerful.
P.S. I will definitely do a Lea style “let’s talk about this session” someday in the future: Ladies better get ready for it ;-)
simply the best team!
Many of you have asked me, whether “Yuanfen - Lea’s Stories” will continue once my sabbatical is over.
As it seems, there is more stories to be told.
Also back home in little Switzerland.
So let’s see how this will evolve.
For now, I will go back to tend to my jet-lagged self with some caring.
My body, mind and soul are still in the process to getting home from the mountains and underwater worlds of Papua I feel…
Happy Friday!